With so many people using online dating sites to find love, the chances of finding a meaningful love connection may seem easy at first, but online dating still offers more advantages than the bar or club scene these days. Here are 5 tips to help you get on track.
1. There is no such thing as 'my type'
When looking for a potential mate, we often get carried away with the false notion that until we find the type of person who fits our mold of the perfect partner in life, we will not settle down. Don’t get us wrong, it’s great to have some preferences in your life, but unless if you live in a bubble where your version of perfect people will somehow make their way through the door, narrowing your preferences to only a type of person, may significantly reduce your chances of meeting a person who’s compatible with your energy, personality, and goals in life. Further, with costly divorces being at an all-time high in most places around the world, finding any match at all might seem like the better choice some might make.
2. Keep your options open to more than just physical looks
Rather than looking for a specific type of physical appearance, we should instead focus on how compatible the person is to us if we truly want a long-lasting relationship that can steer itself on auto-pilot mode. Putting a spotlight solely on physical features such as hair color, height, body-type, or even ethnicity can limit us from meeting someone who we might actually be really compatible with in real-life. Don’t get us wrong here, it’s great to have some personal preferences, but unless if you live in a litmus test world to magically create your ideal human being, narrowing our preferences will likely reduce our chances of meeting a quality person for a longer lasting relationship. However, when seeking wives, most high value men prefer women with zero to low sexual experiences, and it's a truth that most women grapple with. Did you know that a love hormone called oxytocin affects how empathic you are to others, which essentially determines your ability to pair-bond and attach to other personalities?
3. Don’t let fear of rejection or someone’s personal preferences destroy your mood
We already know that both women and men generally have many preferences, standards and features they may be attracted to when it comes to dating. Online dating has made it easier to find a compatible match. Having a have list of date requirements or a list of unique set of things that they seek from someone else is a self-preservation tactic we humans often clinge to. On the other hand, we shouldn't let a list discourage us from someone for us who might be out there. We just have to learn how to move on constructively faster, with minimal reflection on bad experiences. Also, being in a relationship with someone who we wasted our precious time on might affect our ability to focus on someone else who might actually appreciate us more. While some people might be more attracted to materialistic features such as money, status and access to things of vanity, it doesn’t mean that there are some people out there who are won’t be attracted to your humbleness, character, charm or even kindness. The latter is always a better indicator for a striving relationship, so one should not be disappointed by rejection based on personal preferences. It doesn’t mean we should give up on finding the perfect someone online. Some people will simply seek to date people who they are more comfortable with, and that’s okay.
4. Authenticity might help filter out people who want to use you
Should you decide to meet offline or remain online, keep in mind that an authentic personality goes a long way, and may lead to a better outcome in finding a long-term relationship. Being true to yourself might also help you avoid meeting people who want to leverage their fraudulent lifestyles with something of materialistic value that they feel you can offer them. We need to learn to leave the fakeness behind, and stop pretending to be someone we are not. On the contrary, genuine people might be easy targets for scammers and online con-artists lurking around online like leeches hiding in the ocean. One way to stay ahead of them is to be consistent with what you want, and by paying close attention to their behavioral patterns or any out-of-topic speech that contradicts something you’ve mentioned to them before.
5. The gal or guy with the least social media presence might surprise you
Today, we have limitless access to tons of social media apps such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and Facebook that people use daily as a way to validate themselves. Pay attention to the people who are not necessarily using these apps, as it may be a signal that they are the more refined, less programmed, and feel comfortable and confident about who they want as quality partners. Being able to go against the grain and the norms of society as highly self-controlled individuals is a quality many authentic might people find attractive. For one thing, it might reveal that such people are ready to be part of your life, rather than waste their time on self-centered and narcissistic virtual platforms.
